1. |
Left Behind
03:37
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Our moms won't find out how we die
Or if things ever turn out right
A truth of overlapping lives
We're all left behind
In a chain of memories
Tied up somewhere back overseas
To the trunks of the family trees
We won't recognize
With our same green eyes
I've watched you disappear
For years and years but you're still here
It's not too late to find yourself again
And I've felt the weight of days
I've carried not to throw away
But all there is is this one in the end
I spent my twenties terrified
Running out of places to hide
But came out on the other side
Awake and wide-eyed
With some storytelling scars
The bad tattoos of boring bars
The backseat of your brother's car
Which you could not find
In perfect daylight
I've watched you disappear
For years and years but you're still here
I want to sing some songs with you again
And I've felt the weight of days
I've carried not to throw away
But all there is is this one in the end
A broken history will never mend
And all there is is this one in the end
Our moms won't find out how we die
Or if things ever turn out right
A truth of overlapping lives
We're all left behind
All left behind
All left behind
I've watched you disappear
For years and years but you're still here
It's not too late to find yourself again
And I've felt the weight of days
I've carried not to throw away
But all there is is this one in the end
I've watched you disappear
But come on out, the coast is clear
It's not too late, it's not too late, my friend
And I've felt the weight of days
They wash away, they wash away
But all there is is this one in the end
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2. |
So Long
03:13
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Guess I was born afraid
‘cause I’ve always been this way
At least that’s what they say
And I believe them
Teaching myself to hide
I locked myself inside
Til pieces of me died
And I had to leave them
Never thought I’d be sad so long
Never thought it’d be bad so long
But I guess I was
But I guess I was wrong
Walking back after school
I’d feel like such a fool
Because nobody knew
A thing about me
A child mild and meek
I wouldn’t feel so weak
If I could only speak
And say what I see
I never thought I’d be sad so long
I never thought it’d be bad so long
But I guess I was
But I guess I was wrong
And they say
Change comes slowly and life lasts such a short time
Before I leave I think I’d like to live mine
Change comes slowly and I’m still working toward a time
When I might feel fine
But now it’s still the same
Is history to blame
Or chemicals in my brain?
Well, I’ve tried to fix them
But nothing does the trick
Or it does until I’m sick
With new habits to kick
And then I miss them
Never thought I’d be sad so long
Never thought it’d be bad so long
But I guess I was
But I guess I was wrong
And they say
Change comes slowly and life lasts such a short time
Before I leave I think I’d like to live mine
Change comes slowly and I’m still working toward a time
When I might feel fine
Never thought I’d be sad so long
Never thought it’d be bad so long
But I guess I was
But I guess I was wrong
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3. |
Country Roads
04:13
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You wonder why I never visit
It’s cause I’m not done getting away
Though part of me will always miss it
Like it’s that part of me
That’s always been missing
So now I’m carrying with me
The sounds of late night trains
And joyriding wrecks
I can’t forget
You know I left like the leaves
Slowly after withering
Or maybe burned on the lawn
At least I’m finally gone
I will return like the cold
I’m cradling in my bones
I see we’re both getting old
Country roads leave me alone
You wonder why I never visit
It’s cause I’m still back there all the time
Though part of me will always miss it
Like missing mountaintops
And Wal-Mart parking lots
So now I’m carrying with me
The rapid river
And the people it claimed
Who I can’t forget
You know I left like the leaves
Slowly after withering
Or maybe burned on the lawn
At least I’m finally gone
I will return like the cold
I’m cradling in my bones
I see we’re both getting old
Country roads leave me alone
Now I’m carrying with me
BBs under the skin
You know I left like the leaves
Slowly after withering
Or maybe burned on the lawn
At least I’m finally gone
I will return like the cold
I’m cradling in my bones
I see we’re both getting old
Country roads leave me alone
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4. |
Gone
02:41
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I know you’re gone
And if they catch on
Then we can say goodbye
But can we wait until then?
I never want this to end
I know you’re gone
More and more every day
And if they catch on
They will take you away
Then we can say goodbye
(For the last time)
But can we wait until then?
(You left me to die)
I never want this to end
I saved the paper for you
Though nothing’s happening now
There’s nothing left here to do
But we’re perfect in matching shoes
Always forever
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5. |
Different Bodies
05:14
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You told a joke when we were young
About The 27 Club
And now that you’ve gained your membership
I can’t help but remember it
But I know
Nothing is planned the way it reads backwards
There’s not a hand forcing us, no
I wasn’t born yesterday, that was
Such a long time ago
Wasted, we spoke of suicide
And hoping the world dried up and died
But knowing that we could talk like this
I didn’t mean a word of it
So it goes
You had a dream of waking up happy
Maybe that’s what not waking up is
I had a dream of both of us laughing
About how crazy this is
We will live again, I know
In different bodies
Working different part-time jobs
With different hobbies
And we will make it through this time
We will make it through this time
You saw the world and it was small
Ran from yourself and hit a wall
With nothing beyond it but darkness
And you started punching holes in it
All alone
I saw your bloody knuckles and I said
Nothing because they looked like my own
I should have told you, I thought that you knew
You were never alone
We will live again, I know
In different bodies
Working different part-time jobs
With different hobbies
And we will make it through this time
We will make it through this time
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6. |
Any Way I Am
03:36
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I’d feel better
Accepting
Any way I am, I am
Any way I am, I am
But “acceptance”
Is not my thing
It’s just the way I am, I am
And any way I am, I am
I’ll try to sit still
While the sunset’s on TV
Take in its beauty
Let its rays wash over me
And reassure me that I am nothing
The river’s burning
The dog is dead
And any way I am, I am
Any way I am, I am
The world keeps turning
I lost my head
But any way I am, I am
Any way I am, I am
Any way I am, I am
I’ll try to sit still
While the ocean’s on TV
Take in its beauty
Let its waves wash over me
And reassure me that I am nothing
Reassure me that I am nothing
Reassure me that I am nothing
Reassure me that I am nothing
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7. |
Angelica
02:59
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I’ve tried to keep it together
But I haven’t ever felt
Like I’ve been feeling these
Past couple weeks and
It is not going away
Sick with anticipation
Down at the train station
Just knowing that mine will come
At any minute
And I will be on my way
Angelica is in today
When she looks up I look away
I haven’t thought of much to say
Yet anyway
I know you’re somebody’s baby
So I know that maybe
I should try to just forget
Those sneaky feelings
And just look at what is there
Because for me, just to know you
And have you to go to
As someone who understands
Feels like a blessing,
Knowing you’re a friend who cares
Angelica, you can’t be mine
I met my love at the wrong time
But these things happen, all is fine
These things happen all the time
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8. |
Pulse
02:50
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Cut down for
Being born
Not the right way
Like the truth
Wasn’t killing you already
Every day
When they brought out your body,
It looked just the same as the others
A human name, we are brothers
I feel so ashamed for just being here
But it’s not me
Your beliefs
Made it this way
So shut your mouth
Or we’ll carve your tongue
Into a snake’s
To always recognize you
The world is yours but not only yours
Your house is dark, you keep locking doors
From the outside to keep us here
To choke on your fear
To choke on your fear
We won’t choke on your fear
We won’t choke on your fear
You say what comes to your heart
You spew the vilest nonsense
I hope you suffer the strangest of accidents
Because in this life
Ruin comes at random
While you’re smiling, laughing
With your closest friends
There in the flickering of strobe lights
To the pulse of music
Just wishing that the night would
Never have to end
In the flickering of strobe lights
To the pulsing music
Just wishing that the night would
Never have to end
And then it ends
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9. |
Pittsburgh
04:05
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Everybody I know
Is in Pittsburgh tonight
I’m gonna cancel my show
I want to cancel my life
And it’s not getting better
You were right
Waking up on a floor
I could never afford
To the facts in my face
I’ve forever ignored
Can’t ignore them anymore
Tonight
Buying ice cream in the rain
How will I ever find myself again
When after that November
I still cannot remember
Who I was or what I am?
I’ve been missing my dogs
Every one that I’ve had
I’ve been hoping my mom
Isn’t missing my dad
Everybody I know
Is so sad
And how couldn’t they be
Considering this place
We’re gonna die in Hell
Staring off into space
Believing that it had to be
This bad
Buying ice cream in the rain
How will I recognize myself again
When after that November
I still cannot remember
Who I was or what I am?
You can’t go home again
When you have never been
You can’t ever go home again
I miss you like a friend
But all good things must end
You can’t ever go home again
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10. |
Memorial Day
02:33
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Undiagnosed at a young age
I wandered away for years
Into the brush with the black snakes
The county had never cleared
I needed some help to get hurt
And you were right there for me
We sifted through mountains of dirt
Just trying to find the key
I wonder where I would be now
If I had been shown the way
If every misstep I have made
Has made me this way today
But I’d rather not worry about what’s
Already been set in stone
I’m letting it roll downhill
And climbing up toward my home
I can see us
In the distance
Rising from our beds
Climbing from the holes we dug
And burying the dead
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Spirit Night New York
Spirit Night is Dylan Balliett and friends
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