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Shame

by Spirit Night

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Ezekiel Clark
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Ezekiel Clark This is one of my favorite albums of the past few years. The tracks sound cheerful while they carry undertones of loneliness. Dylan is a really talented guy and I can't wait to hear the next Spirit Night LP. Favorite track: Couch.
Queen of The Gravity Urge
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Queen of The Gravity Urge I was lucky enough to have to hear this as it was being recorded, mixed and mastered. So I have basically heard it at least 20 times, and still love it. A must-listen for 2015. Favorite track: The Last Hurrah.
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1.
When we met in the mountains, we played in the fountains like we’d never get old So when we did, it was too soon and I couldn’t forgive you for the lies that you told I’m still making to-do lists, leaving them unchecked under my bed I just can’t believe you’d be happy to see me after all that I’ve said And I don’t miss the days I thought that you were mine It’s funny how that fades with time And pints of whiskey every night Romantically in the twilight If something ever turns out right I’ll switch to wine Or maybe limit my intake to manage the heartache that good times will bring ‘Cause now my memories slipping. I don’t know what I’m missing; I just miss everything Baby, your teeth are crooked, but each one is perfect standing alone And maybe that’s why I had to abandon the old crew and go out on my own And I don’t miss the days I thought that I was dead It’s hard to live inside your head On only nicotine and bread With all the books you still haven’t read I’m putting on my running shoes To leave my bed I’m planning a major comeback That no one will notice at all My ghost has already gone back To that dark and deadly fall To walk down our old house’s halls And paint over the dirty walls We left when we went away
2.
Walk Away 02:40
I should have known to walk away And save my hate for another day But how could I have known my hands Had that kind of power When they tremble at my sides Throughout the darkest hours? I should have known to walk away And save my hate for the working day I was working to forget When you found me back there In the garden of the bar Just trying to get some fresh air But I lost control a moment and You lost something that you’re never gonna get back again Now I count the days til I see the sky And think of your face when that old train comes rolling on by Why’d you have to die? I should have known to walk away And save my hate for a rainy day But my pride’s a fragile thing That I must look after And I couldn’t march away To the music of laughter I lost control a moment and You lost something that you’re never gonna get back again. Now I count the days til I see the sky And think of your face when that old train comes rolling on by Why’d you have to die?
3.
Hospital Bed 04:18
Stuck in that hospital bed You did this all on your own Or so the nurses all said Before they left us alone Maybe you’re not thinking of me When you say everyone’s let you down But I still take responsibility For not dragging you all the way out From under that shadow of doubt 20 cent pitchers of beer I met you back in ‘04 But I’ve known you 26 years Where was your body before? Maybe you’re not thinking of me When you say everyone’s let you down But I still take responsibility For not reaching my hand all the way out And just watching a friend of mine drown And I know how it feels Except I don’t know how it feels at all Just that this winter’s almost gone and next winter’s almost here Can I see you in fall? Maybe you’re not thinking of me When you say the whole world’s let you down But I still take responsibility For not calling when you were in town I thought I’d see you next time around
4.
Couch 01:12
5.
We rode bikes past that house on the day that she died And there wasn't a sound or a chill in the air We only later heard news of what had happened inside When her body gave out at the foot of the stairs If there was something underground Just screaming to be let out We didn't notice it until It left its tracks through our town And in the bloody aftermath We stood looking around And wondering where we had been Looking before the day when Somebody could have saved you if you had only spoken out And no, I could never blame you-- I only wish you had now When they breathed into your body, it was already too late And you'd only just had that one look at a world of hate We threw rocks at that house for the next fifty years And no figure appeared in the attic window We skipped class and we drank stolen bottles of beer In the back of your car on the way to the show And we grew up and we moved out Every year in small ways Past the Jesus billboards and Beyond the forgotten graves Of Sylvia and all the rest I don't remember their names But I'm afraid that underground Their flesh decayed the same way Somebody could have saved you if you had only spoken out And no, I could never blame you-- I only wish you had now When they breathed into your body, it was already too late And you'd only just had that one look at a world of hate And when it happens, it is never quite clear How this could happen, but it does every year I'll sleep through the same life That was taken from you Though it doesn't seem right But what more could I do? Somebody could have saved you if you had only spoken out And no, I could never blame you-- I'm just thinking out loud When they breathed into your body, it was already too late And you'd only just had that one look at a world of hate
6.
I know what steps I must take To stop making these mistakes And I have been making plans To become a better version Of a numb and bitter person In control and in command I can say with confidence It's over after July I've got some friends in town next week It's over and done on New Year's Day After we've had a chance to speak And every night's the last hurrah Every night's the last hurrah It's over until next time Remember me when I am gone Pissing on the neighbor's front lawn. You don't know I pissed the bed And that I almost bled out that night In toilet water under blacklight Not knowing what I had said I can say with confidence It's over after July I've got some friends in town next week It's over and done on New Year's Day After we've had a chance to speak And every night's the last hurrah Every night's the last hurrah It's over until next time Until next time That I get sick Of my sick mind Until next time That I get sick Of my sick mind I can say with confidence It's over after July I've got some friends in town next week It's over and done on New Year's Day After we've had a chance to speak And every night's the last hurrah Every night's the last hurrah It's over until next time
7.
I called your phone again And heard it ringing in our dresser drawer I keep it charged and leave it on Though you don't need it anymore But when your voice came on Everything felt just like it did before And I cried sorry til it cut off And threw my phone on the floor Your shirt is hanging on the shower rod The door is on the latch I'll leave the front hall light on all night long In case you come back I thought I heard your car Pull into the garage the other night But there was nothing when I looked out And turned on the ceiling light So I went back to bed And made sure not to roll onto your side We've had our obstacles before, I know We're gonna be alright Your shirt is hanging on the shower rod The door is on the latch I'll leave the front hall light on all night long In case you come back Your shirt is hanging on the shower rod The door is on the latch I'll leave the front hall light on all night long In case you come back In case you come back In case you come back In case you come back
8.
I woke up on your leather couch In the afternoon Helped you empty the cans of beer Left around the room It was good to see you again Though it’s less and less We’ll always be friends And I won’t feel so alone When it’s time to go When the party ends Tell that one again About the fights we won About the girls we kissed In 2001 It was good to see you again Though it’s less and less We’ll always be friends And I won’t feel so alone When it’s time to go When the party ends Drive me downtown in Your brand new car I’ll take the bus back To my guitar I’m gonna be a big star I woke up in the house you bought In the afternoon Helped you pick up the paper plates Left around the room It was good to see you again Though it’s less and less We’ll always be friends And I won’t feel so alone When it’s time to go When the party ends Tell that one again
9.
Crossing Atlantic Avenue Retracing my steps back home from you Halfway to the other side The flashing hand solidifies And I watch the trucks roll through Crossing Atlantic Avenue (I never want to go home I never want to go home) Could not be the hardest thing I’ll do (But I will do it alone I will do it alone) And when I’m back in bed in Bed-Stuy I will relive the short goodbye Trying to read your palm Pretending the life line’s long And I didn’t live mine wrong And that I really tried I thought it could be something more than a mistake we made twice in our lives But now I can see I was feeding my heartache, grabbing and twisting the knife I needed something warm and you’re gone I needed something I’m not cold- I’ll leave the heater on Til the morning Crossing Atlantic Avenue (I never want to go home I never want to go home) Could not be the hardest thing I’ll do (But I will do it alone I will do it alone) And in a year I’ll have forgotten I ever even let you in Trying to read your palm Pretending the life line’s long And I didn’t live mine wrong And I don’t see the end I thought it could be something more than a mistake we made twice in our lives But now I can see I was feeding my heartache, grabbing and twisting the knife I needed something warm and you’re gone I needed something I’m not cold- I’ll leave the heater on Til the morning
10.
Shame 03:10
I’ve been trying to forget the past and let myself move on But I remember every word I’ve ever said to anyone When we’re dead and we’re gone who will know? When we’re dead and we’re gone no one will know We were ever even here Please tell me you can’t see the Evil in my eyes I’ve tried to hide it but It’s been there all my life I’ve been trying to move on from you and everyone. I’ve been trying to forget the past and accept that it’s gone. When we’re dead and we’re gone who will know? When we’re dead and we’re gone no one will know We were ever even here Please tell me you can’t see the Evil in my eyes I’ve tried to hide it but It’s been there all my life Please tell me you can’t see the Hatred in my eyes I’ve tried to hide it but It still comes out sometimes I don’t want to hide Til the end of time Please believe me when I say that I’m sorry for my crimes

about

NYC via WV musician Dylan Balliett releases Shame, his third album as Spirit Night, on July 10th via Broken World Media (The World Is A Beautiful Place and I Am No Longer Afraid to Die, Told Slant).

On Shame, Balliett brings to life a cast of accidental murderers, alcoholic creeps, and shut-in paranoiacs to explore themes like loss of innocence, the mundanity of evil, and the struggle to define a personal identity in a world filled with both horror and beauty in equal doses. Taken all at once, Shame feels like a cathartic purging of psychic pain, a direct confrontation with failures of the past along the path to personal redemption. Balliett tempers the heaviness of the album’s subject matter with touches of irony and humor to lighten the mood and the final takeaway is an outlook of optimism and triumph in the face of suffering.

Written during a period of social isolation following Balliett’s move from Appalachia to NYC, Shame combines and refines the sounds of Spirit Night’s previous releases to arrive at a unique brand of folk-influenced jangle pop. "In Case You Come Back" twinkles like a snowy Dean Wareham daydream while following a grieving widow whose magical thinking has her believing her dead husband might still return. “The Last Hurrah” is an anthem of avoidance, detailing one character’s struggle with acting on the decision to get sober. “Crossing Atlantic Avenue” is a walk of shame past minor Brooklyn landmarks that calls to mind a subdued Smiths as echo chamber electric guitar shimmers above a krautrock-inspired drum pattern. The album shifts stylistically from song to song, touching on upbeat power pop (“Walk Away”) and muddy dirges (“Hospital Bed”), bedroom singalongs (“Couch”) and fuzzed-out folk-rock anthems (“Sylvia”), all while maintaining the same thematic tone and focus.

Spirit Night’s Shame is an unrelenting vision of trauma and regret worthy of repeat listens this summer.

credits

released July 17, 2015

Recorded, mixed, and mastered by David Klug at David Klug Studio in Pittsburgh, PA, August 2014 to March 2015.
Written by Dylan Balliett.
Performed by Spirit Night.

Spirit Night is:
Dylan Balliett - Guitar and Vocals
Ryan Hizer - Bass, Organ, Synthesizer
Pete Wilmoth - Drums and Percussion

Keyboard Kurtis plays keyboard on "Couch."

Thanks to Annie and the Sullivans.

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Spirit Night New York

Spirit Night is Dylan Balliett and friends

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