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What We Will Be

by Spirit Night

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1.
Smigel 03:39
My silver friends have tarnished already; I pawned the gold for solitude Hoping I could buy them back when I found myself in a better mood. I picked up the tab on all your bad jokes And, with a smile, crawled back into place But it always looks like you are smiling When the lips have been burned off your face. You saw me waving.
2.
Bear Costume 02:02
Of all the boys living in your body, The one I love, I never get to see. He's hiding out of sight down on his knees In a crowded room Thick with black balloons. You sold your wallet and you sold your gun And got your species-change operation. Now you're no longer just a human In a bear costume With bear shit perfume. So eat my guts up in the hills Like you hate them, like they hate you still. Just give me that one little thrill: A death that I can sing to sell On my way to hell. (Oooh, you got a lot of nerve for someone with no spine. Oooh, we're gonna die on Earth, but that might still be fine.)
3.
The Medicine 02:34
Thank you for the medicine. You're my best friend. I'll see you again. I passed out, but I'm not dead. Let's wait a few more years on that. I move one lightbulb through the house To get around 'Cause we're clean out. The shadows follow me about But I don't mind the shadows now. I never thought That it would end up like this: Gatorade bottle full of piss. Thank you for the medicine. You're my best friend. I'll see you again. I passed out, but I'm not dead. Let's wait a few more years on that.
4.
When you said, "I'll miss you forever, I'll miss you forever," I wish you'd known I'd rather you just come on back home Where we'd be together, The only forever you'd ever know. 'Cause it's hard to pretend I'm not already dead When I see it watching me From the bus stop over there by the tree. So I take what you said then with a grain of lead And it's weighing down my knees. Please don't miss me. When you said, "I'll miss you forever, I'll miss you forever," I wish you'd known I'd rather you'd never be alone And we'd be together, The only forever you'd ever know. 'Cause it's hard to pretend I'm not already dead When I see it watching me From the bus stop over there by the tree. So I take what you said then with a grain of lead And it's weighing down my knees. Please don't miss me.
5.
125 04:57
Just ignore them, They're not saying anything at all. Stand here with me in the kitchen, Back against the wall. I'm just trying to make you love me. I will give you all that I have and some that I don't. I won't let go until you do. I hope that you won't. I'm just trying to make you love me. I'm just hoping that you love me.
6.
Stage Lights 02:06
I'm sorry but you got me wrong: I wasn't born to love you And I wasn't born to tear your world apart. You cast me in that role to make your one-act life feel full And I am sorry that I know I wasn't born to play that part. And now you're left alone thinking you see the curtains closing. The stage lights overhead are flickering And I'm there in the chair without a care just gently dozing, The same old boy, the same new man that I have always been. I'm sorry that I broke your heart; I wasn't meant to hold it. It is fragile and I dropped it on that day. The pieces filled the room with that resounding static boom And they are cutting through my shoes as I am trying to walk away. And yes, it meant a lot; I wouldn't try to say it didn't So get those dirty words out of your mouth. What I'm trying to say is things have changed and they are different And I don't know the way either but I am leaving now.
7.
Brains 02:38
The machine guns with bunny rabbit ears that shaped your fist And the splinters of my wooden teeth that caught and cut your kiss And the brains all over my body, they were screaming through that night, Fighting for what they thought was the best for me, for what they thought was right. But it wasn't right. I've loved you since the first time I was too afraid to meet you And I've missed you since the last time I still knew what to do. I ate its veins and prayed and prayed that we could keep it dead Like sister's hair that you found in the box under the bed. But it wasn't right.
8.
Time moves so slow when you don't know where you want to go. I just want to see what I will be But I'm still not sure where this week went or any of the cash I spent. I'm wasting what they hand to me. Brazil, New York, Japan, or start a band -- good call! I taught myself to pray so He'd make you move back next fall 'Cause I sure can't but you're better off, plus I've got someone who lets me talk When I'm drunk enough to say a word. So things aren't so bad, I've got such great luck, guess I've gotta learn sometimes you just get stuck And try my best not to be a turd. Time moves so slow when you don't know where you want to go. I just want to see what I will be.
9.
Green Street 03:12
So you tried cocaine and Well, you're still my friend And then you tried heroin. Don't do that again. My habits, they aren't so bad; I am bigger than this. The things that I can't let go Are only things I won't miss. But when I go outside sometimes, It's like the sun's too bright And I can't handle feeling that, That I am alive. We made our own calendar. It is based on the sun Revolving around us and Our year's just begun. I'm dying to see you when The summer is gone, When I've wiped my memory To carry this on. But when I go outside sometimes, It's like the sun's too bright And I can't handle feeling that, That I am alive.
10.
Gone Down 04:09
I wasn't happy with the way it all went down. I should have grabbed a knife and chased you out of town. Instead, you went so slow, looking back along the way As if you hoped I still had more fucked up shit left to say. Keep waiting for that day! So far I'm happy with the way it's all gone down. I see a new light shining on my side of town. But it's still snowing now out there down beneath the trees. You can see it now, it's falling faster than the leaves. I'm warm in this winter breeze. I won't forget you; I've tried and tried and tried and tried.
11.
The last cigarette was smoked in haste on the third night of the break. I should have savored its bitter taste but you were somewhere still awake. The dog was crying when I came in; must have seen my light outside. But she was lying on the leather couch; we both have bad habits to hide And I don't want to worry about that anymore.

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released March 27, 2010

Written by Dylan Balliett 2005 - 2010.
Percussion written and performed by Pete Wilmoth.
All songs recorded by Dylan Balliett with much-appreciated help from Brian Spragg, Ryan Hizer, Trey Curtis, Sean Gibat, and Bernard Parsons EXCEPT "Bear Costume" recorded by Brian Spragg.
Mixed and Mastered by David Klug.
Cover art by Bryan Minnich.

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Spirit Night New York

Spirit Night is Dylan Balliett and friends

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